He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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