you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
