i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
