My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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