im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
