There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
