home. puking in laundry basket.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
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Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
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Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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