i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
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He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
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It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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