Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
