woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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