I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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