You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize