I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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