So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
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Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
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I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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