She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
