that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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