Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
