He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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