are you still at the devil's house?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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