i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
