if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
why do cheetos always look like penises
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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