dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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