yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize