I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she told me i tasted like america
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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