i jhust puked up my retainher.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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