you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
