P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
