Your tits are I can't wait for
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize