By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The best revenge is premature balding
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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