had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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