Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
