I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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