I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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