I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
