Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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