it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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