I'm lost and stupid without you.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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