New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
