we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize