Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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