How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
