i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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