YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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