yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Randomize
