The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
