hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just want to make out with him forever
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
