It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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