whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
