he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You need Xanax blowdarts
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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