Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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