Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
