Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
