i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she was so not down for the gang bang
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
