i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize